when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Randomize
