I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
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