So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
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