if only i could text you this smell
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
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