She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
Randomize