South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
i will never coherently bang her
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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