i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
My breasts were aching with rage.
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Randomize
