Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
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