I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
there was a trapeze. enough said
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
Randomize
