Those balls look pretty dangerous.
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
Well, I'm off to go seduce a gay man. In 10 years when I'm 300 pounds, sitting in a mumu surrounded by my 500 cats, remind me of this text. That way I can be like "ohhh THERE'S where I went wrong!!"
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
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