Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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