Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
But theres a keg here and me gusta
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
Do you remember whose house we're in?
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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