he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
Randomize
