Plan B is the new Plan A
we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
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