People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
