Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
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