4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
okay pat passed out under dana's car
I just crawled out of a second story window using a sheet and his clothes for a rope so he wouldn't wake up.
I am so glad I watched Macgyver as a kid.
If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
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