well you can't waste a boner
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
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