..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
Randomize
