508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
Just got your voicemail. The 3am call wasn't a drunk dial, it was an I left my phone in my pocket then has wild animalistic sex dial...
I hate you.
You LOVE me.
Randomize
