....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
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