Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
Randomize