apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
Randomize
