he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
that is very illegal...i love you.
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
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