just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
I came so hard my ears popped.
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Randomize
