He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
Randomize
