hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
Randomize
