it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
I'm at a crab and wine festival with my dad. He just introduced me as his girlfriend to all of his co-workers. I am so drunk I thought he was serious.
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
Randomize
