We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
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