Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
Randomize
