Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
The dick lei will go down in squad history
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
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