I feel like I've been hit by a train. I woke up this morning covered in wine, free condoms, and a sign language dictionary.
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
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