In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
Randomize
