It's just like the Real World with babies
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
A bitchslap is in order.
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