no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
At least life still wants to fuck me.
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
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