please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
Randomize