Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
Small penises have feelings too.
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
Randomize
