apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Randomize
