The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
Randomize