Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
