I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
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