I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
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