It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
highlight of my day: hitchhiking a ride with random locals. tried to make conversation, asked what they do. driver says "you clearly don't recognize me." turns out i have had sex with him and forgot.
You are officially qualified to graduate from college.
Randomize