How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
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