i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
