If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
mondays should just be called national damage control day
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
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