It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
Randomize
