Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
