man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
Randomize
