Apparently on the way out of the ER i asked the nurse to doggie-bag me some more morphine.
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Randomize