dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
Randomize
