And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
I told my mom happy mother's day then rubbed my belly and said "Oh, and happy grandmother's day too..." She started sobbing. You were right, that wasn't the best way to tell her.
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Randomize
