you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
Randomize