I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
Randomize