I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
Randomize
