I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
Randomize
